Life

Those lands, as everyone knows, were one of the last creations of the Lord … work on them was completed on Friday, late in the evening, which is why clouds of smoke still escaped from the bowels of the earth. The earth seething with life. Mixing of metals. Huge sea animals. Mineral vapors. New lush vegetation, greedily absorbing the fresh moisture of the earth. Palm trees that grow in six weeks.
 Abel Posse “Dogs of Paradise”

The plane dived into the gray cotton wool of dense clouds, then surfaced again, and the gray rocks encircling the island became visible. We were not allowed to land right away, so we made a big circle around the island, which took another half an hour, and then finally dived back into the gray cotton. When we landed, all around was a solid moving fog and gusty wind. Tenerife North Airport is located in the mountains – it is always cool and cloudy here.

We got to the hotel by taxi. The driver was quite experienced and all the way to Adeje we famously flew along the hot highway along the coast at almost 150 km/h. In Adeje itself, the taxi driver got confused, he did not understand English, and did not heed our requests to call the hotel by phone. Circling around the place, he asked all other taxi drivers we met on our way about the whereabouts of the Sunset Bay Club hotel. All his colleagues gave him different instructions, which completely confused him. Finally, he reached the Sunset Beach Hotel and, as per our advice, went to ask the concierge. Since these two hotels belong to the same chain, the last instruction finally led us to our destination.

The Sunset Bay Club was a cluster of 4-storey white buildings scattered over a large area on the side of a mountain. All staff spoke excellent English with a British accent. As we found out later, only Brits in their 40s stayed at this hotel. Small restaurants located directly under our window offered traditional English and Irish cuisine, which we got bored of on the first day. Since our room was on the 4th floor, just above the restaurants that were buzzing and smoking until two in the morning, we had a very quiet and secluded spacious terrace, with a nice view of the entire resort town.

When you go to Tenerife, there is no point in purchasing an all-inclusive vacation, since you’d want to get a chance to try the food in local restaurants. There were so many restaurants that any time it was time to have lunch or dinner, we couldn’t decide where to go. But anywhere we went, they had low prices and good quality. Local beer was cheaper than bottled water – 1 euro per half liter.

Soon upon arrival, we took a tour to the Teide Volcano. Unfortunately, the cableway was closed that day, and we couldn’t go all the way up the mountain. Although the volcano has not been active for a long time, vapors of some gases are constantly present above the crater. As a result, the peak of the mountain is covered with a light white cloud that looks like a scarf. According to the guide, the temperature of the magma inside the mountain is 600°C. The last eruption here happened a hundred years ago when a smaller volcano erupted (not the main one). The Canary Islands were formed as a result of the eruption of magma from the bottom of the sea. Everything here is made of volcanic rock – mountains, sand, stones. There is also unique vegetation, but more on that below.

The Teide Volcano is surrounded by the “lunar” valley, covered with solidified lava. Among the plants that manage to grow here are carrot-shaped turrets with small purple flowers that bloom once a year. We just caught them blooming.

Then we drove to the Chinchado rocks, a cluster of bizarre shaped massive stones. There were two Russian girls wearing a night club makeup sitting just behind us in the bus who apparently spent a whole night at some bar. Despite that fact, they were gobbling up sandwiches on the road and bravely climbing the rocks in miniskirts and platform shoes, to the admiration of local dudes.

Watch a video about Teide here.

Playa Torviscas and Playa Fanabe are considered one of the best beaches in Tenerife. Hot gray volcanic sand, calm, mirror-like sea, and majestic sunsets. Unlike other popular places, such as Las Americas (Playa de las Americas), known for its buzzing nightlife, Adeje is very quiet. It’s dominated by couples with kids and teenagers, as well as older tourists. 99% of vacationers are Europeans, mostly English, Spaniards, Germans, Russians, Scandinavians. Most shops and restaurants speak good English, although there are some where only Spanish is understood.

Our most memorable excursion was the trip to the Island of Gomera, located just 30 min from Tenerife by ferry. The huge ferry loaded with passengers and cars departs every hour from the port of Los Cristianos. It was too windy at stern of the ferry so we stayed mostly inside the passenger cabin which had toilets, a bar, and comfortable seats. I was fine on the way to Homera, but on the way back, after a whole day in the hot sun, I ended up being sea sick. I sat grasping the seat handles, my head between my knees, like a goose.

Gomera has many legends. The tour starts from the capital of the island, San Sebastian, where Columbus house is located. He stopped here before going to discover America. Here he was received by the Spanish aristocrat Beatriz Bobadilla, who became his mistress. Our guide Maria told us some interesting stories about the inhabitants of Homera, none of which could find online either in English or in Russian. For example, how Beatrice was widowed before meeting Columbus. Her husband, who was granted possession of the island by the Spanish queen, was a great lover of women. Bobadilla and her husband brutally killed local residents, the Guanches, who did not want to obey the Spanish invaders who captured their lands.
avno that to enter into a relationship with his own sister).

In search of materials about this legend, I came across a book by the Argentine writer Abel Posse “Dogs of Paradise”. This book is about the life path of Columbus, about how he decided to become a navigator and go in search of new lands, which he considered paradise, about his meeting with the Castilian queen Isabella, who made him an admiral and, of course, about Columbus’s erotic adventure on the island Homer :-))))), visiting the sexual maniac Bobadilla.

““She lived alone in the Tower… She kept wolves and lions. She ate the meat of wild boars and deers shot high in the mountains. Sometimes she ordered shark fins and rays to be delivered to the Tower and cooked them the Japanese way – in a bitter lemon marinade. Thick soups were cooked from this, they helped her in love affairs. About the devilish lust of Beatrice was fame throughout the district. If the fishermen happened to approach the island of Gomere at night, they listened to the desperate cries of her hapless lovers. Blocks, whips, stocks, spiked leather belts, cypress rods soaked in brine and vinegar. Servants in hoods pulled over their faces. Love is red or yellow, Beatrice’s love was dark brown. Almost all of her lovers – fishermen, lost sailors, captured Guanche leaders, overly nimble church servants – at the end of the night were thrown down into the sea, through the north window of the Tower. But it also had its own attraction. Despite the terrible rumors, it was hard not to accept the invitation of the famous beauty. In the era of severe prohibitions on any sensual impulses, who will miss the opportunity, who will refuse to endure torture from a naked woman? In addition, everyone must have hoped to tame her temper with soft tenderness, to arouse reciprocal love …”  This is how Beatrice Bobadilla is described by Abel Posse. Having read this book before my trip to Homer’s Island, I would probably look at this unremarkable medieval tower, which today is about a hundred meters from the seashore, with different eyes.

But on the day of the tour, I didn’t know anything about it. However, there were many other exciting experiences on Homer….

After visiting a small garden with bulk papayas and plantains (small bananas), we went to a shop where we bought several national souvenirs – palm syrup ( obtained from local palms and considered by the locals as an energy healing drink), almagrote sauce and homeron – palm syrup combined with grape vodka, recommended by our guide as a natural viagra. Then we were taken to a restaurant where they served pumpkin soup with the same almagrote sauce. Both the soup and the sauce were the same orange color, and they were suggested to be eaten together for piquancy. However, this sauce went well with both bread and chicken, and since it was very tender and spicy, I certainly ate more than necessary … For those who are planning to go to the Canary Islands, keep in mind that the food here is very tasty everywhere, but the sea shakes a lot, so control your appetite so that you don’t have to regret it later :-))).

In the same restaurant, we were shown the unique language of silbo whistling  . According to the guide, in ancient times, this language was the main means of communication on the island, as the rocks transmit the sound of the whistle well. With the help of this whistle, the Homerians could transmit messages from one end of the island to the other (without any special devices, mind you!) According to one hypothesis, the ancient Romans pulled out the tongues of the inhabitants of North Africa, whom they took out on ships to sell into slavery, and they learned to communicate without language – with the help of a whistle. Some of these ships could end up on Homer. The Homerians whistle, indeed, without using their tongue, putting their fingers into the genus. So that the whistle language does not die out, it is officially taught in local schools. You can listen to the whistle here .

In the afternoon we visited Garajuan National Park , whose name comes from the names of Princess Gara and Prince Juan, Canarian Romeo and Juliet, whose wedding was prevented by a volcanic eruption, interpreted by their families as an unkind sign from above. Juan sailed to Gara from Tenerife to Gomera, where they joined and threw themselves off the highest mountain of the island. This mountain and the forest surrounding it were named Garajuan. Garajuan Park is unique and included in the UNESCO World Heritage List. It is believed that this is the remnant of an ancient forest that covered most of Europe in the Tertiary period (more than 2 million years ago). There are many endemic plants and animals (that is, those that are not found anywhere else in the world), for example, tree-like chamomile and tree-like dandelion.

In general, despite the heat (it was 37 degrees that day), motion sickness on the ferry and on mountain serpentines, the trip to Homer Island justified itself, and I would not hesitate to go there again.

Stockholm, the unofficial capital of Scandinavia, is a beautiful Nordic city known for its world-famous music, social democracy, unparalleled life style, delicious food and cutting-edge design and architecture. The legend says that Vikings founded Stockholm after filling a hollowed-out log with gold, laying it in the water and letting it guide them ashore. The tale is fictional but metaphoric: This city is golden. It is filled with rich history, cosmopolitan glamour and stunning beauty.

Military Band

The changing of the guard ceremony at the Royal Palace has been a daily tradition since the XVI century. In summer the guards are accompanied by the the military band who march in their impeccable white uniforms all across the Old Town towards the Royal Palace. As you can see there is a decent number of females amongst the guards and the band performers.

Storatorget

Storatorget, located in the center of the Old Town is a picturesque old square often seen on the Stockholm postcards. In the 16th century this was an execution place called Stockholm Blood Bath where the king beheaded his political enemies.

Alfred Nobel invented dynamite in 1866, which earned him a huge fortune. A French newspaper mistakenly published Alfred’s obituary and condemned him for his invention of dynamite saying that he became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before. Alfred was disappointed with what he read and concerned with how he would be remembered. In his will he allocated 94% of his assets to establish the Nobel Prize.

Penicilin (discovered by Alexander Fleming in 1928)

More than 800 Nobel Laureates and some of the world’s most important ideas and discoveries are presented in Nobel Museum located here, at Storatorget Square.

Nobel Ice Cream

The famous Nobel Ice Cream is a special dessert created for the Nobel Banquet in 1976. It was served to guests at every Nobel Banquet until 1998. Today, the ice cream is made only for the Nobel Museum and Bistro Nobel, a small café inside the museum.

Statue of St George

Storkyrkan is the oldest church in the Old Town of Stockholm. All the royal weddings and coronations took place here. Locals believe that this statue of Saint George fighting the Dragon symbolizes Sweden’s need to struggle against evil. I think they already won that battle long time ago – today they are a truly happy nation.

Comprised of 14 beautiful islands and a labyrinth of canals, the Swedish capital is often referred to as the Venice of the North. The waterways are so clean and pure that you could safely drink straight from Mother Nature’s tap.

Housed in a magnificent building the Nordiska museum is the exposition of the Northern culture. Inside is a collection of all things Swedish, from Sami folklore to eclectic exhibitions of Swedish fashion, shoes, interiors and even table settings.

A very unique exposition at Nordiska museum is dedicated to Sami people, the indigenous people who live in the northern parts of Scandinavia. There are at least 20,000 Sami in Sweden and like most First Nations in Canada their main occupations are hunting and fishing. Today they are also involved in handicrafts, tourism, media, art and music. Sami have their own political organizations and recognized as a national minority in Sweden.

The Vasa Warship

The Vasa Museum is Sweden’s most famous attraction. It is home to the world’s only preserved 17th-century warship, which is almost 70 meters long. Vasa, the Scandinavian Titanic, sank in the middle of Stockholm harbor in the middle of the 17th century and was salvaged for restoration only in 1961. More than 95% of the warship is original and was restored to its original glory. The wood that has been under water for over 300 years can easily split and collapse if allowed to dry after salvage. This is why the museum has a controlled humidity to ensure the ship survives for as long as possible.

When it comes to museums Swedes like to go into every detail. The Vasa Museum tells you everything about the ship crew, their health issues, dental problems and diet. The researchers were able to restore all these details using just bones and skulls.

Skansen is the world’s first open-air museum, where you can stroll through five centuries of Swedish history, around historical buildings and dwellings and meet people from the past.

The Skansen Zoo

The Skansen Zoo is like Canadian Lion Safari, but with Nordic animals. Beware of lemurs who can use your back or head as a springboard.

In summer Stockholm people of all ages wear sneakers and cotton pants. I don’t know whether it is a fashion trend or they simply don’t care about their looks. The truth is unlike Americans it doesn’t really matter what they wear because they would look stunning in any clothes. I haven’t seen so many beautiful people (both men and women) in any other country of the world. And I think they are aware of this because they seem so confident. This is what the whole H&M style is based on – simple, comfortable and relaxed.

Another thing they do is getting together in a huge crowd and singing along with their favorite TV host. Sing-a-Long at Skansen is a televised event broadcast live every Tuesday evening in summer and they have been doing this since 1979. Today the host of the show is the 26-year-old idol Måns Zelmerlöw. What else do Swedish people like? The herring in mustard sauce, marinated herring, for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The Ericsson Globe

Another example of the Swedish passion for creativity and design is the Ericsson Globe, the world’s largest hemispherical construction. The Globe is the national arena of Sweden and is named after Swedish largest telecommunications company and the maker of the popular phones. The two spherical glass gondolas take visitors to the very top of the building from where you can see the entire city. Of course, it’s nothing compared to Eiffel or CN Tower, however its the shape that makes it unique. It feels like walking on a very small “moon”.

The National Historical Museum is mostly known for its Vikings collection. Like every other Swedish museum they like to exhibit bones of animals and humans dug out from the past. And of course gold and silver. However, no recording was allowed in the famous Gold Room, which contains 52 kilos of gold and over 200 kilos of silver. Nevertheless, we were able to take a sneak peek….

The Spritmuseum, The Museum of Spirits, or Absolute Museum, is a unusual and creative exhibition which celebrates and disapproves alcohol drinking at the same time. It takes you on an unforgettable journey from the vodka production process to a drunken party room, all based on art, scenery, experience, scents, sounds and tastes… The Absolute Art Collection is just another showcase of Swedish creativity, artistry and sense of humour.

 

Did you know that these things came from Sweden?

1. World’s best pop bands of the 80s – Abba, Ace of Base, Europe, Roxette 
2. Ikea. With 267 stores in 25 countries, it made the interior creation easy and affordable for everyone. 
3. The Nobel Prize. An international annual award of US $1.2 million administered for achievements in physics, chemistry, physiology or medicine, literature and for peace. The famous Nobel Laureates include Albert Einstein, Ernest Hemingway, Alexander Solzhenitsyn. Theodore Roosevelt and Mikhail Gorbachev.
4. Ericsson phones, as well as the invention of Bluetooth 
5. Tetra Pak – a multinational food packaging company producing over 160 million packages a year. 
6. The zipper – the method still used today, based on interlocking teeth, was invented in 1913 by the Swedish engineer Gideon Sundbäck. 
7. Dynamite – the explosive material invented by Alfred Nobel in 1867.
8. H&M – a multi-national retail-clothing company with 2,629 stores across the world. 
9. Buffet-style restaurants. The buffet table originates from the traditional Swedish Smörgåsbord, the table of sandwiches.

Atlantis hotel located at Paradise Island, Bahamas, is considered one of the best destinations in the world. Surrounded by water this giant resort proudly rises above the island like an ancient fortress.

During the first few days at Atlantis we got lost in this maze of endless lobbies, boutiques, galleries, tunnels, pools and lagoons. Those who come here with a child should bring a stroller. It took us a while to figure out the shortest way from Royal Towers to the beach, even with the map on our hands. Unfortunately the shortest way was not stroller friendly since the elevator to the beach level was always out of service. Well, that’s fine, after sitting in front of computers for months, long walks were good for us.

The Dig, located underneath the Royal Towers lobby, is a misterious dark tunnel representing the lost city of Atlantis. You can see here lots of exotic sea creatures staring at you through the glass. Thousands of brilliantly coloured tropical fish swim along with enourmous groupers and magnificent rays. On the way to the beach, at the Predator Lagoon, you will find Hammerhead Sharks, Barracudas, Blacknose Sharks, Caribbean reef sharks and Nurse sharks.

Atlantis Aquaventure Water Park, is one of a kind non-stop aquatic thrill ride. Some of the water slides are so incredibly fast and thrilling you can nearly blank out for a moment. Make sure to keep your bum up all the time, otherwise it can hit you when least expected.

In spite of the overall luxury of the place and ridiculous prices at the restaurants, the food at Atlantis is not all that great. While the dinner at the buffet is $55 per adult and $27 per child, the choices are quite poor compared let’s say with Mexico or Dominican Republic. There are some cheaper places where they offer sandwiches, fries, horrible pizza and other junk. Usually, only 1 or 2 items on the menu would be more of less all right, if you are lucky, or if the chef is in a good mood, and everything else would be too chew, too dry, too spicy. Well, forget it. If you want to eat well at Atlantis, go to fancy restaurants. This resort is designed for rich and idle who can afford spending big bucks on food, shopping and entertainment. Don’t be surprised to find an ordinary dress for 6 grand or a tiny little diamond for three thousand dollars. It’s not because these items are so valuable. It’s because the visitors can afford to spend that much. After all, what is a $6,000 dress compared to the amounts played in the casino, or at the poker tournament?

During our stay at Atlantis we witnessed the annual poker tournament sponsored by Pokerstars, the online poker giant. Pokerstars Caribbean Adventure 2012 attracted over thousand professional and amateur poker players who flew from all parts of the world to take part in this 10-day poker battle. Each of the players contributed $10,000 to the prize pool. The $100,0000 buy-in Super High Roller was one of the central events at the tournament with 30 world’s top players. The big winner of the tournament’s Main Event was John Dibella, a stock trader from the USA who scooped the massive $1,775,000 in the first place prize money. Although Dibella is not a profesional player he said it was easier for him to make money at the poker table than in his everyday job.

Amongst the famous poker players who took part in the Super High Roller event were Canadians Daniel Negreanu and Jonathan Duhamel, members of Team Pokerstars Pro. These poker celebrities have been winning huge amounts of cash in many poker events. While being so rich and popular they are also kind of weird and gullible fellows. Negreanu, for example, was seen buying canned fish at a grocery store outside Atlantis. The same store where we got our oatmeal and bananas to save money on breakfasts. Another poker pro, the 23-year old Daniel Duhamel was recently robbed and beaten in his Monreal residence. They say the attack was organized by his former girlfriend, a 20-year old Bianca. The muggers took an expensive Rolex watch, 100K in cash and a souvenir bracelet won by Duhamel at one of the Pokerstars previous events. Luckily, the thiefs were caught and all stolen iitems returned except for the bracelet.

While the poker players were sweating at Atlantis’ Grand Ballroom, their wives, girlfriends and supporters had fun at the casino. The famous Atlantis casino filled with tourists, pretty ladies and smoke. The casino and its night club were open till 4am. I don’t know what was going there at night as I wasn’t there, but I could see that every morning they were spraying the slots with the sanitizer, so who knows!

On the last day of our stay at Atlantis, Pokerstars threw a huge party at the central pool. The offered all-you-can eat and all-you can drink, and I finally had a chance to try Bahama Mama. I don’t know what they mix in this drink but it’s much stronger than any cocktail you can get in Cuba. They also had a marmaid swimming in the pool all night, a girl enclosed in a giant balloon and non-stop female dancers dressed like aliens. In spite of the fancy spotlights it was very dark so we couldn’t see what we were eating there, but whatever it was it was good.

Atlantis has beautiful beaches with crystal clear sea, soft white sand, lots of sunbeds and unlimited towels. It was very warm and sunny during the first three days of our stay. Later on, the weather changed to windy and cloudy, but still, it was better than the freezing cold winter awaiting us back home in Canada.